Tick-Tock

Sometimes I feel like I can hear the echoing madness of thousands of second-hands tick-tocking their way into oblivion. I can’t force them to move any faster, but any effort to even watch the time or attempt to keep track of it causes a feeling akin to trying to run a marathon while encompassed in a jello-mold. A lime green jello mold with fruity bits ever so slowly inching past my face. (Just in case you were thinking it might possibly contain a hint of pleasantness. It doesn’t.)
There have been so many friends and family who have tried to join us in sympathy for “the wait” (“I know! It’s so hard!! We are praying! It must be awful! I’m so sorry!”) which has been wonderful except that up until this time the wait hasn’t been awful at all and we kind of (admission of guilt here) were looking at you all curiously from the other side of the glass thinking, “wow. Are they crazy? Or are we crazy?”
Well, if one or the other was crazy before – now we are all in it together.
THIS IS AWFUL!!!!! And it’s only month 2.5 in IBESR!
You all were the smart ones and knew it was coming – we had an idea it would be coming but figured we would be in the clear for a while longer.
It is truly exhausting. Like being pregnant for an infinite length of time….getting bigger and bigger with no clue when the relief will come – at times worrying that when you finally pop you’ll be birthing a grown adult complete with scrubby stubble and scraggly hairy toes!
We had some great distractions going there for awhile – in fact – still do. However we are quickly realizing that there is no distraction large enough to blind you from the separation from and anticipation for your child you know exists but haven’t met.
There are very concrete blessings and updates lately – we were reassigned a child – we have an “unofficial” match and hopefully will have more official info and photos soon (“Soon” being a completely undefinable term in this arena). The country of Haiti is also in process for becoming “Hague” – an official standard of processes that attempts to ensure that children in the adoption system are not victims of trafficking. There was an extreme alert and much reason for anxiety among hundreds of families and agencies the past few weeks due to the possibility of the country being required to “close” during their certification process (a certification process that the country goes through in order to be awarded “Hague” status). If the country closed, (which has been the case for many countries moving through Hague certification), all adoption process would immediately stop. Files stop where they are, nothing processed until status is finalized for the country, sometimes months, sometimes years.
The good news in this case is that Haiti to this point has remained open, and announced, after meeting with US dept of State & delegates, that they would continue to remain open during the process. (Huge sigh of relief across the nation!)
A family at another agency was issued the first formal referral (child match) since the new laws went into effect mid-November 2013 just about 2-3weeks ago. This is good news in the sense that movement is happening. This is slightly frustrating since that was three months ago and only one formal referral has been issued.
I read a rumor statement from an unknown source (I know, sounds like the FBI – been watching too much Law & Order) that said the IBESR is planning to approve and release an estimated 460 dossiers beginning in February…we’ll see if anything comes of that! 🙂
We do know that our child is considered “true orphan” status which means he has no living birth parents, this will in turn, mean that we should have a shorter time in IBESR than otherwise expected because there won’t be any birth parent interviews to be scheduling before our referral can be approved. We are praying it through at this point, honestly.
At times there seems to be no rhyme or reason to whom they approve and whose dossiers get processed, and which families get official formal referrals. The family who received their formal referral a few weeks ago has been in process for less than one year, while there are many many families who have been waiting longer than that.

I guess all this to say that we really have no new news – if you’ve been following our posts, you recognize most of this info as information you already had. Sometimes I think repeating the only information we know makes it feel like we have something to say…other than “I don’t know,” or “haven’t heard anything.”

We could use prayers for the system, the process, the families that just feel stuck at the mercy of a third world government. We could use prayer for our spirits – it’s very easy to let this waiting run us down completely right now. Constantly feeling exhausted – not to mention the respiratory cold symptoms running the gamut in the house are laying us out flat!
Mostly – just pray for increased movement in the IBESR. For our family but also for others! The wait is difficult – but there are families who have been waiting a year or more to see their child’s face and I am not blind to the fact that my own wait has been only a fraction of their journey. Doesn’t make it better or worse – just makes it different.

A song that keeps coming to mind is the song “Blessings” by Laura Story. A very sweet, simple song – not usually the style or artist I would choose…but her lyrics for this song remind me that sometimes we cannot experience the blessing without walking through the trial and the pain first.

We have experienced this so many times in our marriage, in our families, I can’t expect this adoption journey to be any different.

Here’s the lyrics, and a link to the music!
blessingsby Laura Story
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It’s not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Blessings by Laura Story

Blessings,

Laura

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