June 26, 2013
For the last four days and 12 hours, I have stood by my home phone & cell phone, watching the caller ID like a hawk. My eyes are so tired and my brain so wired with anxiety it’s amazing my body is still functioning and not laying in a fetal position on the living room floor! As much as I tell myself to not be anxious, not to worry, think about something else, distract yourself…its very difficult to let go.
This morning, I spent the entire peaceful quiet (kids are at summer VBS and a basketball camp) creating and updating this blog…gives me something to do…with my phones by my side, just in case. Still nothing. I didn’t even receive a text message or email! (completely weird for me!) I packed up my cell phone & grabbed my keys to go pickup VBS-ers and ran into the church for all of 7 minutes, leaving my phone on the console of the car.
When I returned to the car, I had a nice cheerful voicemail from the agency in Virginia, asking for a return call so that we could chat in person! GO FIGURE. I knew at that moment God was asking a very simple thing (for most normal human beings), but the most difficult thing of me – to just let Him do His job – which is to be GOD. To have control of the universe and control of my every breath. To have His stamp of divine leadership and love and care on each inch of this process, including the when and the where of the adoption intake-application-processing-office making a phone call to a prospective parent. It made me nauseous. Not sure if it was the anxiety or the nervousness or just the fact that I knew God wanted me to release the process and take a seat. Probably was all three, coupled with the fact that I’ve ingested far too much coffee and far too little nutrients today! (note to self – go make lunch!)
I immediately sent a text to my dad, asking him to pray quickly if he got my note in the next few minutes because I was going to return this call, and I was super anxious about what they would say! I assumed his prayer was going to need to be retroactive to the situation, because he had all of three minutes to respond, and he was at work! While the phone rang, my phone buzzed simultaneously, my ear glued to the screen. I saw these words as I heard the woman on the other line answer the call: “God, you know exactly what Laura needs right now. Overcome her fears with your perfect peace and shed lots of light on the next steps.” Next thing I registered on the other side of the nation was this, “I just wanted to give you my congratulations in person, and not on a voicemail message! Congratulations, and welcome to our program!”
Praise the Lord for His timing, and His divine orchestration of everything from eyelashes brushing with each blink, to congratulations phone calls from Virginia, to the birth of a small boy in another country destined to become an irreplaceable piece of our family’s history – our family’s “His Story” – because it is God’s to design and God’s to mold, His to write, and His to continue to hold as we read on and discover new adventures in each chapter!
Next steps – signing paperwork with the agency and submitting the first installment of payment for the program. When that is received/confirmed, we will be assigned a Family Coordinator from the office in Virginia, and a Social Worker that will be local in our area!